Hearing this sentence in a job interview when I was 25 knocked me out. Today, it is a source of motivation, a reminder of what one can do when deciding to take control back over his/her life. Here is why.
Travelling back in time, this is my last year of study.
I am graduating at the end of the year, and I am applying for my first “real” job — you know, this job that will kickstart your career, the one that will enable you to build your professional credentials, the one that you want and you need to be right. My school has a good reputation, so we have the immense chance and privilege to have companies coming for recruitment sessions prior to our graduation. Big names are expected, all of them international companies. Amongst them, one in particular draws my attention — I will explain why in a future article — an oil and gas firm with positions in the Middle East.
I thoroughly work on my application, send it out and two weeks before the company will be on campus, the selected candidates for the interviews are notified. Guess what? My name is not on the list. Obviously disappointed, I am not ready to give up and decide to contact directly the hiring manager. He politely answers me that there is a process in place, that my profile has not retained his company’s attention during the resumes screening and wishes me good luck in my future applications.
Do you know this feeling, when you want something, but cannot get it, which then makes you want it even more? Then you understand how I felt back then.
The morning the company is on campus, the companies gives an hour presentation before conducting interviews. At the end of this presentation, I gathered my strengths and courage, to go and introduce myself to the hiring manager, eventually asking him if he’d have a few minutes to talk. This is when I get a glimmer of hope: “Right now selected candidates are my priority, but I like your attitude, hence if you are fine to wait, we’ll chat at the end of the recruitment session.”
I waited 8 hours, to get, undoubtedly, one of the most enlightening 20 minutes conversation of my life.
After giving me the chance to introduce myself, my interlocutor asks me: “do you know why we did not invite you for an interview?”. I was burning to know the answer. “Looking at your resume and background, you have carried out all your education in the south west of France and you have never spent time abroad. That means that you have never stepped out of your comfort zone, that you probably miss the agility and the resilience that we are looking for, and that is why is there is no chance our company will bet on a profile like yours”. Today, writing those words still feels like a slap in the face, back then, it felt like a perfectly executed combo jab, cross, hook, uppercut.
The manager was nice, the tone calm and smooth, he was just straight forward and fair. It’s just that I wasn’t ready to hear that.
At first I was upset.
Why is this guy telling me that? Does he think I do not have what it takes to do the job? Of course, I have what it takes. As a millennial, I dream big and, over my past years in business schools, I’ve been fed with what my success story will look like: when I graduate, I will have an outstanding job, with responsibilities, and conquering the world is within my reach (the brainwashing worked well, but here against me). Also, how could he judge me just by looking at my CV?
Shortly after came the fear.
If this company came up with this assessment about my profile, others will too. I started doubting myself, especially expressing regrets about how I “constructed” my resume. What if I had set myself for failure because of my past choices? I should have challenged myself more. Rather than choosing what I felt comfortable with, I should have pushed for this internship in London, I should have applied for this semester in India … so many things I should have rather done.
Then, I woke up.
Instead of focusing of what I should have done. What about acting now? What can I do today, that will bring me closer to my ambitions? My past choices should not be defining who I am today or dictate who I want to be. There is still a chance for me to build an international career but I need to act upon it. A little more self-aware, I got back to my senses, and went back into application-mode with one goal: I will pitch for a job that will take me out of my comfort zone.
Four weeks later, I had found my “Holy Grail”, when I landed a job in New York area with an international FMCG.
So after all, why has this conversation been so important? Well, I got to realize a few things that became part of my life fundamentals.
Self-awareness is probably your most valuable asset.
We can define self-awareness as a soft skill, but I’d rather describe it as a way of life. Going further, we could talk about the ability of being capable of assessing yourself in a fair and objective way, the fact of knowing what you are good at vs. what you should further work on and improve, the understanding of your emotions and what your triggers are … eventually, it’s about knowing you are. It sounds simple, but it isn’t! This is not a given, it requires regular practice.
Knowing who you are puts you in the driver seat, in full consciousness and this makes wonders. It enables you to have constructive conversations, adapt your behavior to the people you talk to, avoid disillusionment and take the — right — next steps.
I can now tell you the truth: back in my interview, the manager was right. I was lacking agility and resilience, yet, I thought those were part of my skillset. During my first weeks in the US, I got to realize that there is a huge difference between thinking you are ready and being ready. I wasn’t at all, yet, this first experience abroad paved for me the way of self-awareness and personal development.
Fight for your ambitions. No matter what you are being told, fight.
After this interview, my confidence reached a pretty low level and from there, two directions were possible: either accepting the fact that my profile wasn’t designed to land international assignments or doubling down on my efforts to reach my goals.
If you are ever at a comparable crossroad, right there, this is where and when you must not doubt yourself. The challenge might seem big, too big sometimes, whatever. Trust yourself.
If you are chasing an industry, a career change, a life change, and you are being told that you are not a right fit, don’t give up. Put your best endeavors in order to achieve your goal(s) till you have the opportunity to sell who you are you are, your story, and your ambitions.
Reward transparent feedback.
5 years, 2 continents, 3 countries, 3 different assignments later down the road, I wrote to the person who interviewed me. I told him I got to understand why he rejected my application, and how one can build resilience, drive and agility. Admitting I did not have “what it takes” when we first met, and how much I grew through “facing yourself in unconventional situations, when and where you have no landmarks, when you do not speak the language, when you need to overcome challenges you never experienced before, both personally and professionally”.
Most importantly, I wrote to say thank you. If it wasn’t for this 20 minutes conversation, and for the transparency of its content, I might have fooled myself for many more years, “thinking I knew” and not seeing the right perspectives. The full answer I got back is still worth gold to me, and if I may share one section of it:
“Telling the truth even when it is hard to hear and understand has always been my moto. I am glad to understand that it served you well. Starting a career full of illusions and misunderstandings is a heavy baggage that at some point often make people fail.”
To all managers believing in transparent feedback, thank you. It is so meaningful and powerful.
In my next post I will share about how I jumped into the expat life, how difficult but how rewarding it’s been.
